It's funny how people tend to just take for granted some things that, through the course of time, seems to come so naturally or is just so habitual...

Now that I can't do some of those stuff, I miss it... even if all I can do on the phone is blab and ask stupid questions and make stupid jokes, it's different when we're talking on the phone than just YM-ing... right?

Oh well ^^

Tomorrow it is, then? If not, the day after... if not... and so on...

May isang punto sa buhay ko na inisip kong hindi ko na kaya talaga. Sabay-sabay ang hampas ng problema, ang pagharang ng tadhana, ang paglubog ng araw sa buhay ko.

Ninais ko nang pumanaw. Hanggang sa nakilala kita.

Oo. Ikaw nga. Siguro nmn d mo nababasa to. Secret blog to e. Pero in case na matsambahan...



Mula nang mahinuha ko ang nararamdaman ko, muling nabuhay ang nawawalang ningas ng pag-asa sa buhay ko. I dared to believe that things would be better.

I kept hoping that things would go right this time. Things have been getting screwed up in my life for as long as I can remember. Isnt it time I got what I wanted? Dont I deserve to be happy?

Then, thinking about that last question, i realize I dont necessarily need to get what I want just to be happy. She may never ever love beyond this point, but it doesnt change the fact that I love her with all my heart. With all my soul. She's the most important person to me right now. Still, being with her... that in itself makes me happy. So I guess, I'll just content myself with the fact na I will be happy existing to make her happy... does that make sense?

Im not really a patient man, and I scare easy too. So, to find myself here, after quite some time, still hanging on by a thread, faced with immense challenges ahead, I know she's the one I love, and that she's the last person I will ever love.

Ah. Cheesy entry... >.<

"I owe you nothing... and you are nothing to me!"- Christian, Moulin Rouge

Will she say those words to my face? I hope not...

One year.

That's all I have.

A year of happiness.

Of her youthful smile.

Of her sweet sensitivity.

Of her eyes, where one can peer through the very essence of life.

And what then, after one year?

I still want to be with her.

I want to love her.

I want to always be there for her.

Will she let me?

Will I be left alone again?

She's all I have... and even then she's not really mine.

But I will always remain hers.

Even beyond this meager life of mine has reached its end,

I will continue loving her.

For that is my reason to live.

The proof of my existence.

For the only way I am alive is thru loving her.


Help me, God...